Dear Mr. Ruining Our Team:

Mr. Van Basten:

We want Ruud back.

We'd like Dirk in his POSITION, please.

Ditch Heitinga. Own goal shit doesn't reflect well on a nation that has successfully produced some of the greatest footie stars in the world.

Dude, Edwin needs a friggin award for putting up with this.

It's not exactly supposed to be rocket science, dear. Luxembourg.

We won, but we don't know how you expect to get a repeat with this.

We like you, Marco, we really do.

You give us results, and we like that. You aren't afraid to try things and work with some of the fantastic up and comers. That said: this didn't work. FIX IT.

You just need to remember that footie isn't something you can play around with - people actually care how we do!

Oh, and Marco? Heh.

Sincerely,

Us. The fans. The currently-disgusted-but-soon-to-be-philosophical fans.